Dreams

This is a blog that I wrote on May 9th, but never posted for some reason:

I never really thought about the word dreams. Usually when I think of dreams, I think of what I was doing when I was sleeping. So weird that it also means hopes.

I had the most lucid dream the day before yesterday. I had woken up at 6:25am. I wake up every single day at around 6:25am. I don't know why. It's really annoying because I don't have to be up until 7:15 on work days.

This wasn't a work day though, so I fell back to sleep and had this dream.

The dream was about the musician ex (the one before the journalist). We were at some kind of a party. She was there. I was supposed to give her a ride somewhere. Then her best friend showed up and he was going to take her instead. I remember knowing that I was going to feel this emptiness after she left.

She was awful in the dream. She was all the worst parts of her. She was acting the way that she did towards the end of our relationship when we started fighting a lot. I started to tell her how much I missed her. I remember putting my hands over my heart. I could here this sad music playing, I woke up, still hearing that music.

Luckily, I can't hear it anymore, but I can still picture the scene and how I felt. It reminded me of why I broke up with her. It made me not want to see her ever again. I think this is all probably a good thing, but it left me in a funk all day yesterday. I was able to break it a bit with a jog, but still haven't felt quite myself since then.

As for the dating scene, I put a profile back online. I met my last 3 girlfriends online but debated about whether to do it or not this time. I'm actually meeting a lot of girls just from going out and a lot of those same girls are the ones that are online. The thing that's nice though is that sometimes, I'll recognize a girl at a bar from online and if I don't end up talking to her at the bar, I can just email her online. I did this yesterday in fact.

I was at my favourite bar with BMW when I saw this girl that I recognized from online. I actually liked her profile, but didn't write her because of her height. She's 6 feet tall. She's cute, but I didn't know if it would be awkward. I've never dated anyone more than maybe 2 inches taller than me and most have been a little shorter. But tall girl was pretty hot in person and I don't think the height will bother me, so I wrote her. We're supposed to go out this week.